"Headlines"

Sorry for those (one or two) of you who were looking for this earlier, but the first trimester is calling Katrina (and thus me) to bed earlier than we are used to.

3. (headline) "Vaccine available for whopping couch"
2. (classified ad) "Homemade portable toilet - Great for parades! $90"
1. (a headline that is actually referring to a cigarette) "Police eye DNA sample from butt"