"Headlines"

We're safely in Iowa, and we actually caught "Headlines" last night, so here's the weekly rundown:

3. (a headline) "Meals on Wheels providing pet food for seniors"
2. (in an ad for a senior-citizen center)
"Senior Center Events: New Year's Eve Party ... Countdown starts at 12 noon!"
1. (the headline on an ad with a large picture of a knife) "What Santa wishes for!"